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How to build a truly energizing life
Published 6 months ago • 6 min read
Last week, we spent time on the island of Corsica.
The Mediterranean does something to you... longer meals, less noise, a different pace.
And somewhere between the sea and the olive trees, I found myself reflecting on the same question I always come back to.
What actually makes you feel good?
Not just functional to get through the day but actually "energized."
Especially because I've lived in both worlds.
The world where success meant hustling, sacrificing your health, constantly pushing, and always being available.
And now the world where I truly believe you can be ambitious and still build a high-energy life… if you protect what matters to you and build routines that support it.
Because I think most of us know and complain about what drains us. We just don't always know what genuinely fills us back up.
And I always say. Energy is personal. It means something different to everyone.
For some people, a full social weekend leaves them buzzing. For others, it leaves them needing two days to recover.
Some people thrive on structure and full calendars. Others need open space and slow mornings to feel like themselves.
Neither is wrong. But confusing someone else's version of an energizing life for yours? That's where it starts to feel exhausting.
So this week, I wanted to share the exact framework I personally use and teach in my journal when thinking about how to build a more energizing life.
Step 1: Get clear on what energy actually means to you
Take a moment to write down what "energy" means to you without overthinking it. Just make a note of the thoughts, images, or feelings that come to mind. Is it focus? Lightness? Excitement about what's ahead? A calm, steady sense of capability?
Most people have never really sat with this question. Start there.
Step 2: Notice the difference between your high and low energy days
Think back to a day recently where you felt really good. (10 out of 10 day.) What was in it?
Now think about a low energy day. Not just tired. Unmotivated, flat, a little disconnected from yourself. Too many back-to-back commitments? A week with no creative space, no quiet, no time that actually belongs to you? What was different?
This isn't only a mental exercise. Pay attention to your body too. Where do you feel it when your energy drops? Tension in the shoulders, shallow breathing, that restless, frustrated feeling you can't quite understand?
Your body is always giving you information.
Step 3: Map your energy drainers and energy givers
Write two columns.
On one side: everything that drains you. Certain relationships, environments, tasks, types of conversations, and commitments you said yes to out of obligation or guilt.
On the other: everything that genuinely gives you energy. The activities, people, places, ways of spending your time that leave you feeling more like yourself.
Then ask: which ones can I increase? Which ones can I eliminate?
Not all of them will move. Some drainers are just part of life right now. But even making one change in each column shifts your baseline.
Step 4: Come back to your values
This one matters more than people realize.
When you are living in a way that isn't aligned with what you actually value, you feel it. Sometimes as frustration. Sometimes as a low-level resistance you can't quite explain. A sense that something is off, even when everything looks fine from the outside.
That friction is data.
If you value freedom and your days feel like a series of obligations, that's an energy drain. If you value depth and your week is full of surface-level small talk, that's a drain too. If you are spending time in environments or with people who trigger something in you, your body will tell you. It always does.
Knowing your values isn't a fluffy exercise. It's a filter. It tells you what to seek out and what to walk away from.
Step 5: Know your why
Building a new level of energy and healthier routines requires a new level of identity and a clear why.
Why do you need your energy for? What brings you back when you face challenges?
This is the anchor. Without it, the framework is just a list.
Step 6: Look at the full picture
Then take a moment to look at your life across the key areas: work and career, health and body, relationships, home environment, social life, personal growth, finances, and creativity.
Which area is currently giving you the most energy?
Which one is quietly draining everything else?
It's about knowing where your attention is most needed right now, so you can be a bit more intentional.
Step 7: Choose your focus area
Once you've done the reflection above, one area usually stands out.
Maybe it's your nutrition. Maybe it's a relationship that needs an honest conversation. Maybe it's your work environment, your home, your routines, or the fact that you haven't had real time for yourself in weeks.
Pick one and ask: what would a more energizing version of this area look like for me?
That question is where the designing starts.
Step 8: Turn your focus into a real plan
So once you've chosen your focus area, I want you to get specific.
Ask yourself these questions and write down the answers:
What exactly is the goal? Not "I want more energy." Something you can actually measure. "I want to be in bed by 10:30pm four nights a week." "I want one hour of creative time every Saturday morning." Make it concrete.
When are you going to do it?Put it in your calendar like it's a meeting. If it doesn't have a time, it doesn't have a life.
What's your method? How exactly will you do this? What needs to be in place for it to actually happen?
How will you track it?Weekly check-ins in your journal, a simple habit tracker, a note in your phone on Sundays. Pick something easy enough that you'll actually do it.
Who will support you?Is there someone in your life who can hold you accountable, cheer you on, or simply know what you're working on? Tell them.
What obstacles might come up?Think ahead. What usually gets in the way when you try to make a change? And what's your plan when that happens? Because something will happen. Deciding in advance how you'll respond means you're not starting from zero every time. A few honest answers written down is enough.
The goal is to make it real enough that you know exactly what to do next.
BONUS: Setting your boundaries
Designing an energizing life means learning to communicate what you need. To say no without a long explanation. To remove things that don't feel right without holding on to guilt about it.
If your life is full of things you didn't really choose, that will drain you. No matter how well you sleep, how clean you eat, or how structured your morning routine is.
Here's what I'm still working on.
I grew up with a lot of drive. A tendency to take on more. And for a long time, I wore that as a badge.
But my biggest learning area right now is quiet time.
Building more of it into my day intentionally. Not waiting until I'm depleted to rest, but protecting space for stillness before I need it.
I'm also working on noticing my triggers and getting curious about them instead of just reacting. Why does this bother me? What is it actually about? That reflection process is genuinely one of the most useful things I do.
And I'm learning to release things without guilt. Commitments that don't feel aligned. If something doesn't feel right, I'm practicing saying it, letting it go, and wishing people well on the way out.
That's part of high-energy living, too. Probably the part no one talks about enough.
Your Tiny Experiment
Take a look at the steps above and pick the one that made you go "okay, I really haven't thought about this."
And if you want to do this work in a more structured, written way, I've built a journal for exactly this. It takes you through the full framework, step by step, with prompts and space to actually think. To reflect, to write, to get clear.
It's now officially live on Amazon. I'll leave the link right here:
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